Resources for Midlife Crisis Spouses

I'm now just shy of ten months past bomb drop, and here's a quick summary of what's been helpful to me in this journey I didn't plan.

Best Forum:

http://midlifeclub.com/
very active discussion and support. The stories are all eerily the same.

Another good website:

http://www.runawayhusbands.com/index.html
Discussion board not so active, but more of these scary similar sudden “it’s not you, it’s me” “I love you but I’m not in love with  you” and goodbye, or just total vanishing overnight stories.

Best Breaking Up Book:

Daphne Rose Kingma, Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours 

Short, sweet and helpful in recognizing and directing your reactions and feelings

Best Scholarly “Why” Books:

Susan Anderson, The Journey from Abandonment to Healing
Diane Vaughn, Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships
Seriously, there is no WHY. It doesn’t make sense. But this analyzes the nonsense.

Background Reading on Men’s Brains and Hormones:
Jed Diamond, Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from Irritable Male Syndrome

You can’t help a man who refuses to help himself, but you can avoid getting sucked in.

Putting Yourself Back Together

Brene Brown, I Thought it was Just Me and The Gifts of Imperfection
Lisa Bloom, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World

Least Helpful Book
Peter McWilliams, How to Survive the Loss of a Love
Just didn't work for me. The Hallmark-like poetry was a little irritating and the book just made me cry, and not in a cleansing way.