H looks like crap. He spent the afternoon at #2's concert playing with his phone. I could see from where I was sitting. Didn't watch the concert, as far as I could tell; didn't wait around to congratulate, but called later to tell him good job. Yeah, that makes him father of the year. How much he misses by being so absorbed in his electronics. Love the dark circles under the eyes. And he tells me how hard it is, and that I should feel bad for him. Well, he created the situation.
Balanced the checkbook; not getting as much money as promised, which is the bare minimum we need to live on.
H and #1 picked out summer camp. $900 a week.
Not sure who is going to be paying for that one. I suppose he could go if we just give up eating for the summer.
Showing posts with label blame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blame. Show all posts
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Not me, is it?
The excuse I got two therapy sessions ago for "why" is that I have been depressed and negative throughout our marriage.
I have a family history of depression. I have the blues. I get grouchy and critical. I am very self-critical because I tend to hold myself to high standards. I have times when my self esteem sinks. Being a stay at home mom is not good for self esteem, and is a great job to beat yourself up over. But am I depressed, clinically depressed, to the point of needing medication? I don't think so.
A friend said it was unlikely I was depressed as I was one of the most productive people she knew, and productive people are not depressed.
There are a lot of things that make me happy. Small things, mostly. Disney World a couple of years ago was fun, but expensive, loud, and I felt like I should be having the best time of my life. I probably would have preferred a smaller trip, buying a weeping cherry for the back yard, and keeping some money in the bank.
I can be negative about things. He wanted to buy some rental property. I was negative about it because of the financial risk, and because we SUCK at maintenance. We don't keep up with our own house in terms of what needs to be done. We don't have time. I can't imagine owning another property, having to rent it out and take care of it. Yes, it was a great investment, but not for us.
This article really resonated with me.
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Find-Lasting-Happiness-Finding-Joy-That-Lasts
I have a family history of depression. I have the blues. I get grouchy and critical. I am very self-critical because I tend to hold myself to high standards. I have times when my self esteem sinks. Being a stay at home mom is not good for self esteem, and is a great job to beat yourself up over. But am I depressed, clinically depressed, to the point of needing medication? I don't think so.
A friend said it was unlikely I was depressed as I was one of the most productive people she knew, and productive people are not depressed.
There are a lot of things that make me happy. Small things, mostly. Disney World a couple of years ago was fun, but expensive, loud, and I felt like I should be having the best time of my life. I probably would have preferred a smaller trip, buying a weeping cherry for the back yard, and keeping some money in the bank.
I can be negative about things. He wanted to buy some rental property. I was negative about it because of the financial risk, and because we SUCK at maintenance. We don't keep up with our own house in terms of what needs to be done. We don't have time. I can't imagine owning another property, having to rent it out and take care of it. Yes, it was a great investment, but not for us.
This article really resonated with me.
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Find-Lasting-Happiness-Finding-Joy-That-Lasts
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