Feeling wiped.
Drained.
Kaput.
Not enough money, not enough time.
Too much to do, too many demands.
What can I let go?
Parenting, nope
School, could ease back on my schedule next semester but need the degree ASAP
Work? Writing online now as my other work hours were cut wayyyyy back. But we need money for food, clothing, shelter. And winter is coming and we have oil heat.
Have the urge to sleep for months.
To walk away from it all.
I know it's temporary and we'll get through but on a rainy day like this a cup of tea, novel and a nap have a lot more appeal than anything else I can think of.
I plan to take a day off for Thanksgiving and just veg with the kids. Eat breakfast in our jammies. Do some messy craft projects. Play board games. Watch a family movie. Mr. Gone decided he really DIDN'T want the kids for Thanksgiving. I suspect there's a girlfriend he has plans with. But, ya know, if you're still legally married, it's adultery. If you mentally checked out years ago, maybe it's not mental adultery. That's irking me too.
Move on.
Move on.
Move on.
Take care of myself. Take care of my kids. Snuggle with my pets.
Oh, and do the work that must be done so other people can snuggle with their kids and pets.
Showing posts with label overwhelmed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overwhelmed. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
Help for First Few Days Post Bomb Drop
Looking back at the first few days and weeks post Bomb Drop, here are some of the things that helped me.
First 48-72 Hours Post Bomb Drop
You've been dumped by the person you trusted and loved and vowed to. You're the walking dead. Pain pain pain pain pain. It. Hurts. So. Much. Someday it will hurt less, but you have to survive. Go into survival mode. Nest. Text your girlfriends.
Eat, whatever you can get into you, but something with calories. Drink water. Walk outside for a few minutes every day. Breathe. Get as much sleep as you can. Rescue Remedy, the economy sized bottle. BE CAREFUL not to hurt yourself falling down the stairs, in a car accident, with sharp objects. Your brain is so full that it's very easy to have an accident. Be gentle. Skip out on all responsibilities you can possibly avoid. Take a day off work, you are sick. Wallow. Order out pizza for the kids. Avoid alcohol and drugs.
72 Hours Post Bomb Drop
CYA. Cover Your Behind.
1) Mental Health: find a counselor.Friends are great, but a good counselor will help you to move forward.
2) Financial Health: get copies of EVERYTHING. Mortgage, bank statements, bills, credit card statements, retirement accounts, wills, Keep it with a friend, in a safe deposit box, somewhere other than your home.
If you have a joint account, move at least a month or two of living expenses into a savings account in your own name. This is an emergency fund. Don't spend it, but keep it for backup. Open up a checking account in your name only too, and move some money there. Keep copies of all the paperwork.
3) Find three family practice lawyers and consult with them. Organize your paperwork from step 2 before the consult. Find out what you are fairly entitled to. Lawyers are expensive, but you, especially if you have kids, are about to negotiate the biggest contract of your life. You need someone professional in your corner.
4) Disengage. No contact. You miss him and you want to see him. You want to make him change his mind. Don't do it. If he wants you he knows where to find you. You can't start healing until you let him go.
Your life has changed. It's not your fault. But you can choose how to respond, to make things better for yourself. Good luck to you.
First 48-72 Hours Post Bomb Drop
You've been dumped by the person you trusted and loved and vowed to. You're the walking dead. Pain pain pain pain pain. It. Hurts. So. Much. Someday it will hurt less, but you have to survive. Go into survival mode. Nest. Text your girlfriends.
Eat, whatever you can get into you, but something with calories. Drink water. Walk outside for a few minutes every day. Breathe. Get as much sleep as you can. Rescue Remedy, the economy sized bottle. BE CAREFUL not to hurt yourself falling down the stairs, in a car accident, with sharp objects. Your brain is so full that it's very easy to have an accident. Be gentle. Skip out on all responsibilities you can possibly avoid. Take a day off work, you are sick. Wallow. Order out pizza for the kids. Avoid alcohol and drugs.
72 Hours Post Bomb Drop
CYA. Cover Your Behind.
1) Mental Health: find a counselor.Friends are great, but a good counselor will help you to move forward.
2) Financial Health: get copies of EVERYTHING. Mortgage, bank statements, bills, credit card statements, retirement accounts, wills, Keep it with a friend, in a safe deposit box, somewhere other than your home.
If you have a joint account, move at least a month or two of living expenses into a savings account in your own name. This is an emergency fund. Don't spend it, but keep it for backup. Open up a checking account in your name only too, and move some money there. Keep copies of all the paperwork.
3) Find three family practice lawyers and consult with them. Organize your paperwork from step 2 before the consult. Find out what you are fairly entitled to. Lawyers are expensive, but you, especially if you have kids, are about to negotiate the biggest contract of your life. You need someone professional in your corner.
4) Disengage. No contact. You miss him and you want to see him. You want to make him change his mind. Don't do it. If he wants you he knows where to find you. You can't start healing until you let him go.
Your life has changed. It's not your fault. But you can choose how to respond, to make things better for yourself. Good luck to you.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Stability
Slowly getting used to this new normal. Part time working, aggressive home maintenance/improvement and decluttering in prep for roommate or sale, and having to be vigilantly organized. Definitely on a short fuse and not getting enough sleep. I know I have to take care of myself but there are just not enough hours in the day for sleep, housecleaning, chasing after kids, and all that needs to be done. I'm letting go of a lot; the bathroom does not have to be spotless and the meals do not have to be gourmet. I will not just survive, I will thrive and make things good for myself and my kids.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)