So I've been hitting the self-help section at the library.
Best book so far: Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours by Daphne Rose Kingma.
It's short and easy to read. The section on emotional stages of separation especially hit home as I am bouncing back and forth between so many of these feelings, from the "crying all the time" to "it's his fault" to "it's my fault" and back again.
There's a workbook chapter that I intend to work through and a ceremony for saying goodbye.
Going to tell the kids this weekend.
Right now I'm gluing together some fractured pottery for him. Symbolic: he breaks things and I get to put the pieces together afterwards. And he blamed this break on someone else.
Guess right now I'm in the blame him stage.
Breathing deep. O how I wish this didn't hurt so much. I know I have to feel the pain now, or later, but O it hurts.
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